As I pondered the thought of possibly exposing myself on this blog, I had to go back to my “why”. I thought this would be cool to reach a like-minded audience. But the truth is, this isn’t for anyone other than the woman staring back at me in the mirror. As I am writing this on March 28th, 2025, I am a full-time student, full-time medical assistant and a full-time hot ass mess. And I love every minute of it. The reality is, I need a healthy outlet.

Writing was my first love. In a lot of ways, it saved me. My junior year of high-school, I had a teacher that started every class with free-writing. He would set a timer for 10 minutes and we were not allowed to put our pens down until the 10 minutes were up. He called this “bleeding on paper”. During that time, I was going through an incredible depression that I was convinced I would live with forever. I would half-ass most of my work and I was consistently late. All I cared about was getting an assignment in, regardless if it was good or not.

One day, this teacher pulled me to the side and said I was not “bleeding on paper” amongst other things – like get to class on time! I was angry, frustrated and annoyed. Leave me alone Mr. Weinstein!

But the truth is, he saw something in me that was screaming to be released. In reality, I was a boiling pot, ready to spill over at any second. And that’s exactly what happened.

I went home and wrote a 10 page paper of my previous relationships, my family, my anger and the biggest obstacle of all – myself. If it were not for him, I would never believe my words mattered. From that point, I knew my words meant something (even if it was just to me). From writing poetry to short stories to diary entries or even one line that randomly pops into my head as I am walking outside, sun rays entangled with my curls – this is all for me.

If you read all of that – Thank you.

As I navigate the hurdles and barriers of adulthood, I do not want to lose who I am and what has truly grounded me and allowed me to be raw. For the past few years I have strayed away from my first love. But have you ever heard people say if you love someone let them go and if they come back it was meant to be?

This blog is a love letter to that anxiety ridden junior who just wanted to be heard, to be seen and understood. So, this is my nebula of intrusive thoughts, journal entries and anything else my little heart desires.